Friday, February 6, 2009

Get Shirty

I met a first date for a drink at a bar close to my house. He seemed OK - not quite knocking my socks off but not bad either. I had walked to the bar and when the date was over, he asked to walk me home. I declined but he insisted. At my place, he announced that he needed to use the bathroom. I was too polite to tell him to take his butt back to the bar so I let him in and waited by the open front door for him. He came out of the bathroom wearing his shirt. No pants, no underwear, nothing. He was also at full salute. "Hey, what do you think?" he asked with his arms spread wide to show himself off. I laughed but that didn't deflate him. "What?" he cajoled like a little boy. "Come on...just a little? How about oral? A hand job?" Despite this, I remained polite. I stood by the open front door, saying no and asking him to put his pants back on. Finally, I told him he was making me really uncomfortable and that I would go get my neighbor if he didn't leave. He did and later called to ask for a second date! 


  1. It sounds as if you avoided a potentially dangerous situation by smartly standing by your open front door, waiting for this idiot to finish his business. I know he was rendered harmless by the fact that you did not give him the opportunity to hurt you, etc - and perhaps he had no intention of harming you - but what if that actually *had* been his intention...?

    I am so hoping he never, ever, ever darkens your door again. : |

  2. This is second only to the Super Burrito story.

  3. This is right out of an episode of How I Met Your Mother.